It's not you, It's me
by m3lita
Summary: They were always causing trouble, even in Morocco


Hey! This is my first fanfic ever, maybe it's going to be horrible, I don't know, English is not my first language, but I think that I'm kind of decent at it, I decided to start my fanfiction adventure with Franky, she's interesting, she's weird, she's a perfect character, this is my take on Franky's adventure with Matty before they reunite with the gang of Morocco, by the way, whoever you are, thank you for reading

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><p>She was expecting more, maybe because everybody make such a big deal about sex, maybe because she wanted it to be more, after all Matty was her first boyfriend and she wanted to feel more, to feel everything but even if he did his best it wasn't enough, somehow nothing was enough anymore, she felt trapped, she wanted to go but not home, she didn't want to go back and be Franky goody two shoes again, she wasn't going to, she didn't know what she wanted anymore, anything but this maybe, and it was weird because when he first suggested the trip to Tunisia for just the two of them she had been excited, she thought it would be different, she had more fun with his trip expectations than with the real experience, it wasn't Matty's fault, it was the fucking cliché and it's not you it's me.<p>

-"Franky, Franky!"

She woke up from her daydreaming annoyed as usual; it was easier to get mad at Matty for everything these days.

-"You seem more absorbed than usual, are you ok?"

-"Just dandy, I'm going for a walk"

He stood up making the gesture of going with her, but she just mumbled "alone" and took off. She walked alone through the shore for hours, just thinking, trying to guess when she started hating her boyfriend, because she couldn't stand him anymore, its love supposed to cool off this fast? Was even love what she felt? Was it worth it? Because she had to deal with some much drama to get with him, and now that she got him she didn't want him anymore, what would happen with the group if she break up with Matty?, what would happen with her if she stayed with him? Over thinking was not bringing solutions but creating more problems in her head, she had to get back to him, this was going to be their last night in Tunisia before going back to the gang.

Matty surprised her when she arrived to their hotel room, there were candles, there were roses, and she felt like she was in the set of a cheap soap opera. He was sweet but she thought he was corny; just a few weeks ago she would have killed for a gesture like this, and know it repulsed her. He grabbed her hand and slowly they walked to the bed, he sat as she stood next to him, he kissed her hand, he was trying to fix things, she noticed, he was making the effort, she knew she should correspond, she owed him that much, so she sat next to him and allowed him to kiss her, but she was cold and stiff, never committed, not anymore, he knew somehow that he was losing her and he didn't even knew what was wrong, in his mind they were perfect for each other, since he met her, he became curious about her, she was almost as fucked up as him, but then he started his partnership with Liv and he tried to concentrate on that, he was rebuilding his relationship with his brother, he was creating new connections, he had been so far away from normal for a long time and he didn't want to ruin everything again, so he resisted her as long as he could, until he couldn't stop himself anymore, his relationship with Liv be damned, his relationship with the fucking world be damned, he just needed her. He tried to show her that day on the woods, he tried to show her everyday of their trip, but somehow it wasn't enough, not anymore.

That last night they slept facing each other, they didn't had sex, she didn't want to, she was tired, she was cranky and she was hot, but not in a good way, she was suffocating in that room, his heavy arm on top of her, she wasn't into cuddling, not after sex, and least of all when there wasn't any sex involved. It was getting harder to spend time alone, Franky was used to do things by herself, she spend most of her life alone, and even if she felt lonely sometimes she learned to appreciate her solitude, these days specially, because she was stuck with Matty now and he wouldn't leave her alone, he was everywhere, always hugging her, always refusing to let her go, following her through each one of her steps, and she should be happy about his presence on her life, but why wasn't she? When he breathed on her neck, when she smelt him, when she tasted his lips, when everything that was magical a few days ago turn out this way? Maybe it would change tomorrow, when they see the rest of the gang, maybe their strange dynamic would make sense again when they're all together, because they are all pieces of the same puzzle, and because they only mattered when they became part of that bizarre group. Maybe tomorrow everything would be better, it had to be.

It was a monologue, he talked all the way to Morocco, he talked about them, about his plans for them when they were back in Bristol, about the last book he read, about Simone de Beauvoir, and Franky are you listening?

-"God, shut up. I can't take it anymore, so just shut the fuck up"

-"What's the matter with you, you haven't been yourself since we were in Tunisia; it's something bothering you?"

-"You're bothering me, and why are you fucking talking about Simone de Beauvoir"

-"Because I thought you liked her, remember you mentioned you like to read that book, The second sex"

-"Do you have to be a fucking copy of myself? Do you have to like every fucking thing that I like? Do you even understand the meaning behind the things that you read, and where the fuck are we?"

-"A couple more blocks and we would be there"

She didn't have anything else to say, she already destroyed her relationship in less than a minute, did she even want to continue with this charade? They were going back to their natural circles, he was going to be with Nick, Alo & Rich, she was going to spend time with Grace, Mini & Liv; she needed this, they needed this, to stay away from each other for a while, and everything would be normal afterwards, like before Tunisia, before she fucked up her relationship.

Nothing was ok anymore, she was destroying the group's mojo, between Matty's constant need of attention and her own boredom, everything was going downhill. Everyone was clueless, they might sense something was wrong but they couldn't bother to fix it. Rich & Grace were in their own world, they only existed there, and everyone else was a mere spectator of their happiness. Liv was thinking more about the marijuana under the kitchen floor, than how were Franky & Matty drowning in their own shit. Alo was thinking in losing his virginity, and he was so hopeless, maybe some loose girl could be into that, a fucking addict to porn being a virgin, isn't that a cliché?. Nick was thinking only in his personal pleasure, and having fun with his mate Rider, getting high and fucking drunk chicks seemed his motto these days. Mini was thinking about herself, like you even needed to ask, and you better not ruin this trip for her, so if you have a fucking problem with your good for nothing boyfriend you better fix it Franky, because I didn't come all the way to Morocco to deal with this shit. She guessed wrong, she didn't felt part of the group anymore, everyone was lost in their own world, and she didn't want to deal with their drama just as they didn't want to deal with hers, she wanted excitement, and somehow everyone seemed so tamed, she definitely needed a change of scenery.

That night they ended up crashing a party and the first face she saw attracted her immediately, maybe Morocco wasn't so bad after all, if she could lose her tail (Matty), she could have some fun; but he wasn't letting her go, after dragging her out from the party, she was ready for their next fight, and he looked so vulnerable and damaged, maybe he didn't want a girlfriend, just someone who shared his pain, sorry but no thanks, making love in Tunisia wasn't that fun, being with him in Morocco either, she just needed some air and then he found her. His name was Luke, and other than that she knew nothing about him, but she felt that same excitement with him than she felt when she first met Matty. They danced a little, they talked some more, she felt the chemistry, yeah she could almost taste it. The next morning it was the same old shit, and Mini was going on and on and how much of a slut she was being, like Mini had the high moral ground to call anyone a slut, on the way to her room she heard Mini talking

-"I liked it better when she might or might not have been a lesbian"

Whatever, she didn't need this, she was planning into living in her room until they went back to Bristol when suddendly Luke appeared, he and his funny little mate, who got into a weird beatbox competition with Alo, it didn't matter, now she could escape.

They found each other again at the beach party. Maybe she was looking for trouble, maybe she was attracted to it, but she wanted that feeling back, everything was so boring with the gang, they only cared about getting high and getting laid, maybe he was bad news, but a little drama couldn't hurt. So when he offered his hand she took it, and fuck the world, she was going to have fun. She never saw it coming, at least not in this way, one minute she was running in the same car with Luke, the next she was in the hospital room of Grace, God she fucked up big, Matty disappeared, Rich was destroyed and the rest knew it was her fault, they couldn't even looked her in the eye, she was alone again, and wasn't that solitude what she wished at the beginning, maybe but not in this way, not with Grace in a comma, not with her conscience screaming to her every day, not letting her sleep, she wanted to sleep but she was afraid of her nightmares, and what if she wake up and Grace was dead, anyone but her, she was the first one who offered her a hand, it wasn't supposed to be like this, it was just meant to be a classic summer holiday and now everything was fucked up.

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><p>So this is a one shot thing, I guess I want to start writing some fanfic series too but I don't know if I want to commit to all that trouble, somehow I liked writing this, it was therapeutic in some way, I mean it was like writing my diary, but in a foreign language, I can relate with Franky a little, because I had felt the same, so maybe I took more liberties than I should, I don't know, but still I gave it my best, I really hope you like it, I'm writing a few more fics, I have millions of fandoms, and I don't know what to do next (I walk into circles just thinking), stay in tune if you want, maybe I would write something amazing next time, have some faith in me!<p> 


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